Which tends to happen when I am cold.
WHY am I cold?
You guessed it. The heater still does not work. Even though the landlord left yesterday with promises that it was running and assured me that it was completely normal to smell diesel fuel while it runs. This morning, the house was a chilly 58 degrees and Beans and I were snuggling under the winter blankets for warmth.
And (surprise, surprise), when my landlord finally called me back, he actually asked me if I WANTED him to come look at it today, or if it could wait. This is after his wife insisted that we shouldn't even need the heat.
For those of you who don't live in Alaska (or in the interior), I just want to say that I could see my breath outside today. Um, ya... I (expletive deleted) want you to come look at it TODAY!
So, after another afternoon of waiting around and choking on diesel fuel fumes while smoke detectors went off in the middle of Beans' nap, I began to lose my patience. (Can any of you imagine why?)
While my landlord was standing here talking to me (instead of fixing the heater), I was googling our rights as tenants, and chatting away with him while I copied and pasted the many many many (well, like, four) violations of Alaskan Statutes they have committed into a letter that will be sent to the via certified mail this week, along with 30 days notice. (And no, I really don't give a flying, um, squirrel, if you have another tenant by then or not!)
You read that right. We've lost all patience. The search for another place to live has begun. I read my letter to my sweet husband who told me I'm so smart and awesome and that I should be an attorney.
I won't name this friend, but I was also strongly advised to just slip away under darkness of night. Which I would do, if waiting for darkness of night didn't mean having to stay here for three more months until it gets dark.
HA! I crack myself up! You gotta admit, that's funny. *grin*
Ah, I digress...
So, my "meanness" doesn't end there today. While I was happily typing my "intent to vacate" letter, my landlord began apologizing that these issues were taking so long to resolve.
For the record, when he left he once again told me I should expect diesel fumes and smoke, and tomorrow he would have a professional come look at the thing. He said, "I'm sorry". And you know how that phrase elicits a knee-jerk reaction to say "That's OK"? Well, I did. Then I looked up from typing my letter and said, "Well, actually it's NOT OK, but somehow we'll manage to get through the day. Like we have gotten through this whole week." Then smiled sweetly and asked him to see himself out, since I was busy typing a very important letter.
You know, I just want to say that I AM a very very very nice person. I REALLY hate when someone else's actions (or lack of) makes it necessary for me to get mean.
Catching a glimpse of my computer screen must have inspired some action on his part because shortly after I found our house listed on Craigslist, available Sept 1st.
First, I wonder if this means I should be looking for a new place? (Like I wasn't already???)
Second, the ad made me laugh so hard that I spent the next 20 minutes cleaning coffee off the screen, as I spewed it out of my nose.
Listed in the ad, "Moose and Squirrels frequently visit the yard... truly Alaskan!" or something to that effect.
Um, moose DO visit the yard. The squirrels live in the HOUSE, not the yard, and maybe they should disclose that information.
I also noted that they hiked the rent up by $100. I guess the squirrels cost extra.
Also making me giggle was that the landlord mentioned the wood stove as the alternate heat source and said there was wood already split and stacked available for use.
Um... should I tell then NOW that I already promised the wood to a dear friend of mine? In exchange for chickens. And I desperately want those chickens. And that she (the landlord, not my dear friend) really must be a loony bird if she thinks we cut, split, and stacked that wood for someone else to take for free? Yeah... not so much.
Hmm... maybe I should offer to sell it to her, for a fee. The going rate on a cord of wood is about $250 now.
Nah. I'd rather have chickens, and see that my friend is warm and toasty all winter.
On another note, I encourage every reader to check out the comments others leave for Moose Nuggets. I LOVE the input that all of you leave. I was particularly giggling about how squirrels in the south get pellets to the butt. And if you love my blog, please send the link to others or encourage others to check it out! The comments on my last blog entry really brightened my day and made my heart warm (while the rest of me is still cold and adding layers for warmth.)
OK. Enough shameless soliciting...
Have I mentioned yet how happy I am that my sweetheart is coming home tomorrow? I'm a tough cookie, and perfectly capable of handling business, but it sure will be nice to have someone else here to deal with our squirrel-hugging, no-heat-needing landlords.
The Moose Trail feels a little long and lonely today. I think I'm going to make some hot cocoa and snuggle up with Beans while reading library books.
For Family and Friends:
Beans is possibly the smartest baby in the universe. I showed her a picture of a duck today (in one of her library books) and she said, "duck duck duck duck", and laughed hysterically while I clapped, danced and cheered. I also showed her a picture of a goat and she tried to mimic my goat sounds, "mah-ah-ah-ah-ah", and laughed when I (finally) caught on that she was trying to make goat sounds with me. She also tried to "hee-haw" like the donkey, which was totally adorable.
When I laughed at her, she got a VERY serious look on her face and told me, "No, no, no, DON'T!" (which is also a favorite phrase during diaper changes or when she is caught trying to eat pine needles or the stray bug that makes it into the house.) Yup, she's pretty brilliant!
OK. off for hot cocoa and snuggles. Until the next time,
Happy Moose Trails!